Reply to "Being a Match Maker."

Jobelle Collie posted:

I’m looking to hire someone or find someone who can make introductions for me for dates. I DO NOT need a man to save me, I pay my own bills, I’m retired and have a good retirement income for life. I’m a bit older than most date apps, I’m 59. I retired at age 40 and now just write and publish books. I have enough education to choke a horse. My two children are adults, they both have professional degrees, married and live independently from me and their Dad. I’ve been out of the dating world for a long time. When I divorced their Dad (cheaters need not apply) my children were 7 years and 4 months old. I decided that my job as a Mom was more important than dating men and I really didn’t want different men coming in and out of our lives. I still worked full time, completed degrees and reared two wonderful, respectful and smart children. Our divorce stipulated that child support would be paid until the youngest (then 4 months old) was age 26, in college full time, married or joined the US Military.  My son finish his degrees at age 26 years and 6 months. He is now 32 and settled in his career. I’m a disabled Veteran (their Dad was also US Military) and I do use a powerchair sometimes and I have a service dog. No, I don’t look disabled, but I promise there is one. I’m a MENSA geek, and so are my children. My I.Q. is 149, not bad for a dizzy blonde who had a TBI! I am cancer free, but chemo made me a bit chubby. But I have curves in all the right places. What am I looking for? A man who is a gentleman, can carry on a conversation, is single, our Faiths have to match, he can be working or retired. I’m not sure if I’ll marry again, but someone who would be a good travel companion.  I’ve been around the world twice. I don’t like to fly because I make a terrible back seat driver, constantly listening to the engines, watch how the Pilot banks in curves and how good he can land a jet. Now you know what I used to do! I’m an avid reader, a budget nerd and I make my own jewelry. I’m into my Faith, (Methodist but I’ll explain in person) I like nice clothes, live theater and cruises. I’m in the middle of selling my current home and building a new home. I’m tossing all the things I no longer use. I’m not expecting a millionaire or a superstar, just a gentleman who can keep his life in order just like I do. Does this answer your question? 

Very descriptive and straight to the point, that is extremely important if you do hire a matchmaker. But, and this is a big but. I highly recommend you don’t openly share so many deep details about yourself before you’ve talked with a matchmaker. Save all those details for the in person interview. I have 2 reasons of why you shouldn’t do this.

1) Any type of scam artist that is very good at scamming people in various ways are hard to identify. Some of these are professionals at scamming and have taught themselves for many years to be successful ripping off even the smartest people. It’s their profession and as we all know that whatever job or career path we take in life, we strive hard to be the best at our profession. These people do the exact same thing. Especially now that you have been so descriptive a scam artist can fake being a matchmaker as there is no government regulated laws currently that makes matchmakers have to be licensed or have to identify themselves as a matchmaker. This, again, is just another reason the big companies can charge you $25,000-$60,000 per job. (Which is ridiculous) So with such a descriptive profile about yourself, your family, your current life, past life, etc... Your giving a professional scam artist all the tools they will need to impersonate and promise the things they know that’ll make you jump on to hire them. I’ve never personally seen this but I’ve heard horror stories from friends in the industry.

2) It is necessary to give a vague outline of yourself and what your wanting. As a matchmaker or a relationship coach I need to know just the basics to even consider taking you on as a serious client. As I only work on one case at a time due to the amount of quality work, research and personal techniques I use which will easily rack up many hours day & night to offer the best possible service to my client. But this helps me to determine your legitimacy and is what helps me decide if I will meet you in person for a 1 on 1 interview whether your seeking matchmaking or relationship coaching services. I never accept any client until I decide various things pending how the in person interview goes. At the end of the in person interview is when I make my decision to take you on as a client or not. But during this in person interview is when you are going to need to be transparent about all aspects of your life, even the embarrassing ones that nobody knows about. Everything is kept fully confidential between only you & myself. If we decide to not go forward with services after the interview or if you do hire me for services then I only keep your confidential records for 6 months after the date your contract is finished. On both scenarios I keep only your general name and contact info for my records. All the notes taken I hire a professional company pending which city I’m working in that professionally shred and discard all the confidential information I have maintained. I also offer to my clients that I can send a copy of the receipt when the records get disposed of 6 months down the line to have for you own records. I keep al confidential and non confidential records obtained throughout each job kept in a locked up fireproof safe. It’s just an additional protection I feel necessary if my house burned down the records would be safe and if a robber broke into my house. There’s no way they could get access inside the safe nor remove the 800 pound safe bolted to the floor from my residence. I take each clients confidentiality extremely important.

 Also which is extremely important on your end. While I’m interviewing you, you should be interviewing me as well. THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT on your end, I cannot express this enough. Also during this in person meet you can better gauge if I’m the right fit for you. Pay attention to body language/movements, as well as facial expressions when discussing private & sensitive info about you and how their attention to your cases details throughout the entire interview. Pay attention to how serious and how focused I am dedicating My time to you or if I’m checking my watch often, or taking calls/texts during our interview.

 You will have your own questions that you’ll want to ask and I encourage that 100%. But along with your questions you’ll also learn more then you would think by being observant throughout the interview. If your seeing signs that I’m easily distracted or put our interview on hold once or multiple times to send a text or take a phone call. These observations are critical as it allows you to gauge how important that your needs are being met. When someone gives you their undivided attention during the whole interview process which generally lasts 1-2 hours pending on the services you require. It will teach you so much about the other person and most times your able to gauge if their the right person to hire based on visual observations throughout along with any questions you have set to ask.

 Now, which is crucial, before the interview starts you need to make clear that at a certain time you may have to make a call or text if there is a family emergency currently taking place. Both parties will understand and will be appreciative about your honesty. It is rare that it will happen but things out of your control can happen to anyone at anytime. Always be open and honest as that is a beautiful aspect some people naturally have. But if their telling you up front about a possible call/text that is not of extreme emergency such as checking the latest sports scores. Then you’ll know right away that this isn’t the best person to use for whatever services you are inquiring on.

 You wouldn’t imagine how many times when I first started out someone gave me the notion their looking for love or someone compatible to their lifestyle. But when I interviewed them in person and got to know them on a much deeper more personal level. That I find out the client was wasting my time as they didn’t want to hire a matchmaker for love. They wanted to hire a matchmaker to be able to have sex with men/women that were way outta their league. After their sexual encounter each person I’ve come across wanting this said the same thing. After their one time sexual encounter they didn’t want anything more to do with that person. I’ve had both men and women try to hire my services for this. I had one lady in Chicago that wanted to hire my services one time each month for a year for a flat fee of $10,000 each month. As much as I woulda loved to obtain a year contract with a guaranteed $10,000 each month I still just couldn’t do it. I will immediately terminate any contract if I find out my services are being used for sexual pleasure.

 Now I also work as a relationship coach which is a completely different contract I get hired for. When hired for coaching I will only assist anyone with various sexual advice if that advice is to better help create healthier sex life within a relationship. As a heathy sex life is a crucial part of a healthy relationship.