Lots of advice on this subject...how did you meet your mate? What was the attraction that kept you interested?
We met purely by accident. I seen she had a big heart that I first noticed, but could tell she has had bad & mentally abusive relationships in the past. I just got outta a 7 year relationship so the timing was great for me. If you were to ask her, she said I was both gorgeous on the inside and gorgeous on the outside. This was almost 8 years ago.
She has helped me stay healthier and be more goal oriented for when we decide to have children soon. And I taught her how to become her own person and to become a fully independent woman. Both her father and her 2 previous ex boyfriends were experts at mentally abusing and controlling almost every aspect of her life. It took me almost two years to get her to stop saying sorry for everything. If we had a disagreement about somthing even when I was in the wrong, she would automatically say sorry like everything was her fault. It was kinda sad to be honest.
One of the biggest things I showed her within a healthy relationship, besides working on aspects within herself from previous abusive men in her life. Is communication on everything instead of fighting or getting upset and not saying anything until ya blow up a week later. So no matter what’s going on, whether it be a good day at work to any disagreements big or small, communication is such a valuable tool for a heathy relationship that she never even knew was a thing. It was pounded in her head at a young age that she is just a girl and if she doesn’t like what her father or prior boyfriends did or were doing, or saying that she had no say in any way what so ever. That’s why when I first met her she would literally say “I’m sorry” close to a dozen times a day over absolutely nothing, and if I wanted to go to a certain restaurant or go see a movie. I never knew if she liked any of the restaurants or movies because when I asked she just agreed with whatever I was saying or wanting to do. It wasn’t until a couple years in working with her daily that I got to figure out that there’s so many food styles I love that she absolutely cannot stand but because of her past she never would go against anything I wanted to do. It was truly sad and I knew I had to work with her to let her know what it feels like to truly be an independent woman with her own independent thinking. Once I was able to help her get to that point roughly 3 years into the relationship. I openly offfered up to her that we could break up on good terms so that she can go see the world and date other guys or even women to see what was best for her. But luckily for me she declined breaking up and has stuck by my side through many hard times and she never let anything come between our relationship.
We have a personal pact between each other that if we have any issues with one another regardless of what it is, that we made it a promise to ourselves that we will bring up whatever situation that’s bothering us with the agreement that as long as we didn’t avoid the situation and simply communicated the problem together when any problem/issue came up. That regardless of the issue, that neither one of us will get mad at each other about it, regardless of whoever was in the wrong, And by doing this we are able to be completely transparent with each other. Just like all relationships there will be issues & disagreements that will arise unexpectedly. We worked together and created our own type of communication system and that is one of our biggest tools we use to keep our relationship healthy and always growing in strength the more time goes on.
Wow I’m truly sorry for explaining so many details for your simple question. My apologies on such a lengthy answer, truly. So to simply answer your question, the attraction that has kept us going and both never losing interest in one another is that both of us equally bring out the best qualities in one another. It seems that the more difficult obstacles our relationship faces year after year. That it only brings us together that much stronger as a couple as we both take pride in helping each other better ourselves.
For example; her life plan was to finish high school and jump right into a minimum wage job wherever and start her life off that way. One thing I noticed early on is she is incredibly smart but was always told that she was an idiot.
To make a long story short after I noticed how smart she was and with some encouragement from me she graduated with honors at a top university in Michigan and almost 2 years ago we moved to Florida as she is pursuing her PhD as a bio chemist. Only 2 years into her PhD she has 4 publications in prestigious science journals.
If you want proof that I’m not making all this up. Jump online and google the international space station. Once you get into the ISS site you will look for Current science projects currently on the space station today. She is the lead scientist in her lab that headed up the project to work on various different food sources for astronauts to not starve as one of the issues nasa has in the works to get our astronauts to mars safely. The issue is we can get to and from the moon in a matter of days. Mars on the other hand will take a very long time round trip on top of once they get there they have to setup food harvesting stations which is her current project of growing corn successfully on mars by changing its DNA code using the Crispr9 technology. So google the ISS and skim through the photos. There you will see several clear bags that hospitals use when they put an IV in your arm. Besides these bags are filled with green algae. She has taken various algae forms and with the Crispr9 technology she was able to completely cut out various sections of the dna in algae and replace it with dna strands from other plants that carry traits of all kinds. Once you find the photos online you will see the name Mark Suttles or Mark Settles, I forgot how to spell it it. She is the lead scientist in Mark Suttles lab that has sent these various types of various designed algae each with different dna strands to see how each dna strand she designed holds up the best in space and for how long. But you need to make sure you see Mark Suttles name in the small captions as there’s various science projects within the ISS, once you do then you will see her first in space project for nasa.
So while she waits to see what the long term affects do to each of her algae projects. Nasa was so impressed that they just signed on and are fully budgeting Marks lab to start work on designing the best corn & sweet corn to be developed by personally designing each plants dna structures and adding/removing strengths and weaknesses within each corns dna strand to be able to withstand the conditions on mars to fully grow year round crops of corn as well as change the dna structure to improve the taste as astronauts food choices through the years haven’t had the best options when it comes to taste. So Nasa just recently signed this contract and funded these corn trials in Marks lab and my girl is the lead scientist again for the project which she easily can get 1-4 more publications in prestigious journals on top of her other publications before she graduates with her PhD. There’s big companies all ready watching her closely and from rumors in the science community the waves she is making has a strong chance at landing her a lead scientist job straight outta school which start with base salaries around $350,000 - $400,000 which do not include bonuses and additional funds from companies to buy partial rights to a couple of items she designed and put a patent on.
Again I didn’t make this answer short, I’m truly sorry buddy but I hope I answered your question. She thanks me all the time that I never stopped believing in her and we’ve made many sacrifices for her to continue her schooling. She feels if she never met me she would be working somewhere still for minimum wage probably flipping burgers because everyone in her life as she was growing up always told her she would never amount to anything and whatever the family asked of her she had to do because she was a girl, and girls have no say with things. Like I said when I met her she still lived like that and she was 20 at the time. It was one of the safest things I’ve ever seen. The worst part is she believed she was worthless all because she was a female growing up in a household with a dominant father. It’s crazy how quickly life can change in ways you’d never expect.
Since I wrote this much already I will finish this reply with a bit of humor. Once nasa brings the algae back to earth she will examine and make whatever changes needed to make sure the algae is edible and has a very long shelf life. Once she finishes that is when the fun begins as she gets to add the flavoring. I have a feeling I’ll be her test dummy to find out what flavors taste good and which ones I can’t stomach. But a funny but very proud video she has is from a Russian astronaut on the ISS that is holding up one of the algae bags and in his Russian broken up English with a huge smile on his face is begging her to make him his own special Root Beer flavored algae. He is laughing but serious and the best part is he made that video to be sent directly to her which made her come home crying in enjoyment. I will not add her name on here but if your that obsessed it would be easy for anyone to do simple research to find out the lead scientist in Marks lab.
Enjoy the short book....