As an adult I've never been able to treat myself to much, I wouldn't call it shame or guilt.......more like fear that I'll not have enough money to live out my life. Interestingly, the pandemic has relieved some of that pressure. The first thing we did when we felt safe was take a 14 day road trip, visiting family along the way to destinations that were fun. I treated myself to lots of local artwork that strongly represented the areas we visited. We stayed in hotels that were convenient and upgraded first or foremost, rather than worrying about finding the best deal along the way. And, unlike me, I didn't walk around with a calculator in my hand to track my purchases and expenses so when I was going through my receipts to enter into my budget tracking, I about had a heart attack at how much "fun" I'd had. I felt no guilt or shame because it was part of breaking out of isolation and finally relaxing after being socially restricted for a year. In fact that feeling of relaxing and letting go of some money for fun is still prevalent a few months later. We are fairly newly retirees and it feels good to treat ourselves........finally.