Are there any situations where it's OK to hide money from your spouse or partner? I'm not talking about setting money aside because you're planning a surprise. Does it ever make sense to have a separate account that your partner doesn't know about?
I ask because I recently got this letter from a woman who discovered her husband's secret bank account. https://www.thepennyhoarder.co...secret-bank-account/
I'm a big fan of having a joint account for shared expenses, in addition to separate accounts for each person. But the key is separate, not secret. What's disturbing here is just how much control the husband has over the finances. He's withdrawing $6,100 a month from their shared bank account, while she takes just $1,400. So I'm concerned that there could be other things she doesn't know about.
That said, there are a few situations where I think it may be permissible to have a secret account, though I don't think they apply here. For instance, if your partner has a history of overspending or gambling, it might make sense to keep an extra safety cushion that they don't know about. Again, I don't think this applies in this case.
Is it ever OK to have a secret stash of money that your partner doesn't know about? What would you do if you discovered your partner was hiding money from you? If anyone is comfortable sharing personal experiences here, I'd love to hear your perspective.