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Telling your significant other how much money you make or how much debt you have can be an awkward conversation. But discussing whether you should sign a prenuptial agreement before marriage is next-level uncomfortable.

Having tough money talks is the entire focus of a book I recently read — “Broke Millennial Talks Money” by Erin Lowry. And yes, there’s a section on prenups and how to tactfully ask for one.

Lowry chatted with The Penny Hoarder via Facebook Live last week, and she talked about how people ought to reframe the way we think about prenups. Prenuptial agreements should be viewed as marriage insurance, she said, rather than an indication that you don’t love or trust your future spouse.

Just like you buy auto insurance or renters insurance — not anticipating a disaster, but for protection in case something happens — a prenuptial agreement is a way to create what Lowry calls an “equitable division of assets or any debt” should your marriage end.

That said, I’m curious... What are your thoughts on prenups? Would you ask — or have you asked — your partner to sign one before marriage?

**Writer at The Penny Hoarder. All opinions expressed are my own and don't necessarily reflect the views of The Penny Hoarder.**

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@MsKimberly, I definitely think trust is key and I agree that you shouldn't marry someone you don't trust. But I also think many couples go into a marriage fully trusting each other and things just shift over the years or decades.

I don't think a prenup has to indicate a lack of trust. It's just setting things up so that if you ever do part, you've collectively decided on a fair way to split everything rather than leaving it up to whatever the state or a judge decides.

I would say a prenup most definitely.

It's not about 'it's either love or money' - you can love each other and do a prenup. In general, one party has acquired more asset than the other person when it is time to get married. Thus, it wouldn't be fair to the person who has more assets to have more risk going into the marriage than the other party. Ergo, I think a prenup is always necessary from a practical standpoint, even if you never intend to get divorced.

It's like asking 'if you should buy health insurance' - and the answer for that is "yes." You're trying to build a life and not get divorced, but a prenup is a good way to protect your money. Like Kanye said, prenup is like "Geico for your money"

One shouldn't avoid getting a prenup because it's an awkward conversation to have. If you'd like more help doing the whole prenup conversation, there's an extensive chapter in "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" that talks about how to approach that conversation so it's not icky.

There's almost no upside whatsoever in *not* doing a prenup. Just like there's no upside to go ahead and drive without car insurance. You don't go out every day hoping to crash your car - but you still buy car insurance. And just because you're a great driver and you think you'll never crash your car, doesn't mean you should avoid buying car insurance. I think a lot of people just want to say "I love and trust this person, therefore no prenup" either:

1) Is too overconfident of their ability to predict the future. Half of marriages end up in divorce. What makes you think your situation is different than those 50% of marriages out there? Everyone gets married because they trust each other and nobody marries each other with an intent to get divorced.

2) Too emotionally invested and don't want to do the hard conversation of a prenup, so they make up excuses not to do it. (i.e. they're too emotional to make good financial decisions).

In short, you can be optimistic about your marriage and still do the sensible thing of insuring your money.


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