There’s a wedding boom happening this year. Many couples who postponed their nuptials due to the pandemic are choosing to say “I do” in 2022.
This means you might be seeing an uptick in wedding invitations — and you might have to make the hard decision to decline one or two.
My question is: Would you still send a wedding gift even if you can’t attend the wedding?
Wedding etiquette seems to say that you don’t need to send a gift if you aren’t attending, but what do you think? How do you approach gift giving when you’re on a budget?
I say, Yes. I was in just that situation last month, I told the Bride that I would not be going to be able to attend, but she and her future (now husband) would still receive a wedding gift from me. They loved the item that I had purchased for them.
I’d say yes as well, but the bride and groom shouldn’t expect the moon from those who don’t/can’t attend. That said, I think it’s important for the about-to-be-newlyweds to have items on their registry at a variety of price points. From a pay-what-you-want cash/gift card option on up to more expensive items for friends and family who can spend a bit more.
I usually don’t unless I have a close relationship with them. Something small never hurts, it’s the thought that counts.
What ‘small is’ is really where the dilemma lies.
There are many good wedding gifts to send, but it depends on the couple and their tastes. A nice gift could be something the couple can use together, like a nice set of dishes or a blender for cooking.
If the couple has children, a good gift might be something for the child, like a new toy or a gift certificate to a kid’s store. Something else to consider is whether the couple has already registered for gifts or not. If they have, it might be better to choose a gift from that list so the couple can be sure to get what they want.
Otherwise, a nice gift could be something unique and personal to the couple, like an engraved bookplate or a piece of jewelry. Whatever gift you choose, make sure it is something the couple will appreciate and use.
Yes, I would send a gift if I was not attending the wedding.
The only time I didn’t is when I was invited to the wedding shower of an in-law that lived in the next county. I couldn’t attend, but bought and wrapped a gift that I was going to take along to the wedding in addition to a wedding gift. However, we NEVER got invited to the wedding. Who does that?
No. If I couldn’t attend a wedding, it was due to life events (another friend’s wedding on the same day, moving, exams during nursing school, couldn’t get off work as a nurse, going through a divorce). I also don’t expect a wedding gift whether someone can or can’t attend. Their time, presence or happiness for us is plenty and appreciated. I did send a gift after one wedding because I had a medical emergency while en route to that wedding and missed it.
Yes, I would send a gift if I was not attending the wedding.
The only time I didn’t is when I was invited to the wedding shower of an in-law that lived in the next county. I couldn’t attend, but bought and wrapped a gift that I was going to take along to the wedding in addition to a wedding gift. However, we NEVER got invited to the wedding. Who does that?
I’ll add to that note…
One friend said that she couldn’t invite me to her wedding, but she wanted to invite me to her bridal shower. It was awkward trying to figure out where she placed our friendship even though we’ve kept in touch a lot since I moved. So I had to politely decline. We still keep in touch but not as often.
Years ago, I invited several college friends to our engagement party, but the now ex-hubs didn’t want to invite them to the wedding. Some of them stopped talking to me and I felt horrible for not being able to explain what happened.
