We’ve all had it happen — a dear friend shares their money woes. Whether it’s struggling to keep a budget, spending too much or never having enough, it hurts to hear that a friend is struggling.
How do you respond when a friend approaches you with money problems? Do you listen and empathize? Offer solutions? Share what’s working for you?
If you’re someone who offers solutions, how do you do this without offending or hurting your friend?
And, honestly, why does it feel so awkward to broach these topics with friends?
I know this is a financially-minded group, so I’m really curious to hear how you all are managing these conversations while maintaining the friendship.
I have one friend whom I share pretty intimate details about money. We’re both in somewhat similar financial situations. Other friends I don’t go into it too much.
A friend is someone who I’d like to keep, so we don’t discuss money handling at all, along with politics and religion. It is just not worth it to reveal things that would hurt or create a sticky situation that could lead to a distancing. We might say things like did you get your stimulus check, did you file your taxes yet, what is your car insurance costing you…things like that.
If the situation is similar I would share what I have done and leave it at that.
Your friend is reaching out to you to share, so I would listen empathetically, and then ask, ‘Can I share an idea that I have’ or ‘what worked for me?’, especially if circumstances are similar. Then you know if they are just venting, or actually seeking solutions. If they are just venting, at a time when neither one of you are talking about money, you could bring up a situation from your life and how you are dealing with it, and ask them what they think. As we know, when we are dealing with financial issues, it feels very isolating. It can be helpful to know that others deal with it as well.
I have a friend that I speak with very frankly about money. Pre-pandemic (!) we budgeted together every pay-period and went through financial well-being classes together. Working with her was a complete game changer. (<3 @slaura )
I have one friend who is as open as me about money and finances, so we are always discussing and giving each other tips and advice. Nothing is off limits because we both know what we discuss stays between us, no judgement.
