Talking about money makes a lot of people uncomfortable, so what do you do when someone refuses to discuss it altogether? Last month, I answered a letter that infuriated a lot of people, myself included. The letter writer’s husband makes much more than she does, but he refuses to discuss any expenses related to their child. https://www.thepennyhoarder.co…uses-to-pay-for-kid/ When she tries to push the discussion, he avoids her.
I’m not really sure how hard she’s pressing the issue or what exactly she means when she says he avoids her. There are only so many places you can hide when you live with someone unless you have a really big house! It also seems bizarre that the husband would refuse to discuss any costs related to their child.
Have you ever had a partner who refused to discuss a financial matter? If so, did you have any luck getting through to them? Or was this a dealbreaker? I tend to think that when someone won’t discuss topics as important as children and money, it may very well be a dealbreaker. But if anyone has had success with getting someone to finally start talking about money, I’d be very curious to hear your tips!
My ex refused to talk about money. We made plenty of it, and I could not figure out where it went! Well, he was financing his other family that I didn’t know about… ? We had to declare bankruptcy at the divorce.
I worked very hard to get myself to a good, stable place financially. So when my current husband and I were dating, we had very open communication about money, even though we were in very different places financially. We continue to discuss this on the regular, and both have access to each others accounts and information. It has not been an issue.
Talking about money is never fun – unless you’re making tons of it and are debt free. But that’s not me at the moment. I just got married, so my wife and I are due to sit down and make a budget we can both stick to.
wow my husband and i are ild school we never hid anything we did the banking and paying bills together i always knew what we had in our accounts i was blessed he taught me how to save .
In my first marriage (which ended in divorce) we did not discuss money, we had a joint bank account that both of us put our paychecks into and I made sure the bills were paid. As he grew more and more secretive with what he spent money on, I became suspicious yet still trusting. It turned out he made a deal to buy his mother’s house in FL (we were in MD) and was funneling funds to that. I had no idea about this and then he came around and said, “I thought I told you”. No discussion!
In this marriage, we openly discuss money and finances, along with what is the best use and decisions on how to spend, separate bank accounts but are joint on all of them.
As for your question on what to do when someone refuses to talk about money, get a lawyer and get rid of the problem, both sides have to declare assets. Lots of red flags and hindsight is 20/20. Consider child support and alimony.
Wow, just wow @kellyfromkeene and @redcatcec. You’re both better off from those disasters. You’ve both done good.
Thanks @sthom, I am in a much better place! Lots of lessons learned, and I now help out others with managing their money for a career. I love it.
I also feel uncomfortable when others ask me about money. Therefore, when I talk about money with those who I am not really familiar with, I often add something like a sensitive question or something like that. geometry dash unblocked
For many years my spouse and I made so little, we HAD to talk about it. We hash things out even though the discussions may be uncomfortable. Both of us have a say in the budget.
When my mom got older, she wanted me to be her POA but she REFUSED to talk about money and her future wishes. So I refused to be her POA. Once she moved in with us, I took over her finances and found she was eligible for some government programs that she was paying for out of pocket. (Durable medical equipment rental and diabetic shoes through medicare, and PACE). Her stubbornness cost her.