The Penny Hoarder recently conducted a survey that found that 47% of couples who share their finances do so within six months after they started dating. Now, I’ve been with my wife for several years, but we still have completely separate finances even though we split the bill for things like our mortgage, childcare, groceries, etc. – we just pull from our separate bank accounts as needed. There’s no real reason for this. It’s just what we’re used to.
Do you share a bank account with your spouse? How far along in your relationship did it take to start sharing a joint account with your partner? No matter what, six months in seems much too soon!
I got married at 50, and my husband at 56, so we were firmly established with our own finances. Although we are set up with each others names on the major accounts in case something happens, we maintain them separately. (We actually planned to set up joint accounts, but found it worked so well as it is that we didn’t need to.) I cant even imagine sharing finances 6 months in! Even a year in!
i married at 17teen and i and my husband always shared everything i can say this he taught me how to save and keep my credit good he passed 8 years ago ,
I am a saver and an investor, my husband is a spender. We keep our finances separate. I earn my money and he earns his. We decided in the first year who pays for what and it has worked out very well. We have had to adjust a few things over the past 13 years with inflation, but overall we prefer to keep it separate. I am on his account and he is on mine in case anything would happen. We are not on each other’s credit cards for the most part (we have two where we are both on the account,) but after having to nag him to pay on time and not go over the limit, we keep everything else separate. We are on the mortgage together. I saved enough without his bad spending habits that I am able to put my son through college without a loan.
When I was married, we opened joint checking and savings accounts for shared expenses (apartment rent and utilities, going out) to which we both contributed. We maintained our existing separate accounts. At the time, it felt like pulling teeth to get the ex to contribute to shared expenses.
I hope that in my next marriage, we both talk about money early on and happily share the financial responsibilities. We should feel that we’re both supportive no matter how much each of us makes.
All great responses. @angela.urbistondo, sounds like your situation with your husband is similar to the way my wife and I approach our finances.
The one area we could be better at is sitting down on a regular basis and going over our budgeting. There’re times where we aren’t communicating our priorities, like paying off debt, so it can be tough to get on the same page when we’re both spending our own money separately.
My Husband and I shared a home for 4 years before we married. Our finances were separate and we paid the bills as they came due from our accounts. We had decided beforehand how we would split them. When we got married, we combined resources in a checking account for expenses but maintained separate savings accounts. We have been married for 23 years and I managed to save enough to buy a house 18 years ago and a Trailer in Arizona where we moved 3 years ago for retirement. My husband was shocked that I managed to save enough to make these to purchases while raising our combined family and only doing at home childcare! Our mortgage is going to be paid off in 2024, just 19 years after it was taken. We saved a lot of interest by paying it off early and lost nothing in the process. We have a great life. We will sell the home someday, but right now our granddaughter lives there and takes care of things. And we have a place to stay when we go back east to visit. People who are on different pages about finances can make it work if one can manage all the finances.
You are right about the big debt! By the way, my husband retired 11 years ago and I have been disabled since 2002. You can do ANYTHING if you decide to live within your means and you have a plan. We love our life and we worked for it, but we never suffered, nor did our children (all 10 of them, including grandchildren we raised), without government help. Oh and they went to private grade school also. They all graduated with honors and are productive adults. Never say never. It is never too late to make your plan!
Wow you did a great job at saving and being able to buy what you thought was important as my son says to me Mom owning a home is a investment he is right
I don’t share finances in my 8-year relationship because I saw early on that he was irresponsible with questionable integrity. I didn’t want that affecting me. But if your person is trustworthy and responsible, I’d say once there is a marriage or similar commitment.
