Divorce - domestic violence

So long story - I survived many years of abuse of all forms. Every year got worse than the one before, now I can see that. Funny how brainwashing works.

He is heading to prison. I’m trying to figure out how to get divorced and what I legally can ask for and get and what is off limits. We live in Texas and since I started working I was told I make too much for legal aid, but I submitted the divorce paperwork once already and apparently did it wrong. The judge said I have one more chance to do it myself before he requires me to get a lawyer.

So ok - I barely escaped with my life, had to literally replace everything in the house, and they are going to force me to get a lawyer I can’t afford. A co-worker told me there are some attorneys who will take on a case like this and put it in the decree that my ex has to pay the attorney fees.

So before I waste a lot of time I was wondering if anyone was familiar with such a thing, how do I phrase that when I ask, and if he’s going to prison won’t that change the situation enough so no lawyer will mess with it?

Thanks in advance, I’m stuck on a deadend researching on my own.

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I am glad that you were able to get out and start a new life.

If you do not qualify for a lawyer pro-bono, then I would make calls, start with 211, and ask who will use a sliding fee scale. Also use your local domestic violence/women’s crisis/violence prevention agency/shelter as a resource.


god bless and good luck you deserve it

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I can identify. I too am facing divorce from abuser now in prison. Glad you made it and wishing you blessings and guidance. Be well


Thanks to all who responded. I really appreciate it.

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I do not live in Texas, but went through the entire story you are currently writing so I had 6 years of court, shady attorneys that I went into massive debt over and fired, then finally landed a great one. I had to go through TRIAL PROCEEDINGS for 12 days to provide proof of income for the judge to base those amounts I was asking for on.

So the state mandates for this kind of thing vary per state. Sure, there are federal statutes in place, but the nuances that are critical to your case will vary by state as well as county.

My senior thesis after surviving through all of this (while getting an architectural and interior design 6-year degree in 3 years with a child to raise) actually morphed into creating a type of facility for women like us - there are MILLONS of us in hiding looking for help - and in this process, I did extensive research and development into these women like me, establishing what the core needs are.

There are 8 to 9 types of domestic abuse - and once escaping penniless and scared, the first place to go for help, guidance, and resourcing steps is your local women’s shelter, or a Catholic Church.

Start small, and while you are waiting for information from your main contacts and referrals, you can educate yourself by researching online about local resources that will provide help protect you, any types of grants, funding, municipal sourcing for help with attorney fees, etc. Start small and explore what your city offers in terms of aid - talk to your local Village or City Hall.

  • Salvation Army - call your local branch. They can provide you with agencies and phone numbers.
  • Catholic Charities - very helpful and financially well resourced.

From there you can start researching on a county level, and for state aid, this link should at least answer questions and guide you a bit.

We are survivors, and don’t stop looking for help. If you want someone to help research your area, please reach out to me. I do a lot of Research and Development anyway, so I can see if I have arms that extend to your local area.
847–751-5818 - cell (best to text me first)
mischa@ccgrp-inc.com (Subject: Survivors) if you prefer to email.

You are not alone - and we have to find each other to bring more awareness and attention to our cause. And remember - I am always willing to do what I can to help anyone who contacts me. We will survive and then we will thrive. ?


Can you call your local women’s shelter or get on your town’s FB page and ask if there are any resources to help women of domestic abuse get a lawyer to represent her pro bono or at a reduced rate? I know it might be a little embarrassing but hey, it’s worth a shot.

Good Luck and you are one brave lady!

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